The Day I Learned I'm Not a Jedi

Do you remember the scene at the beginning of “Return of the Jedi” where Luke is about walk the plank, and be forced into the Sarlacc pit, but last minute he spins around grabs the plank, throws himself back up and then goes hog wild with the lightsaber? If you don’t, just read the question again, but this time more as a statement.
 
Are you all caught up? Good, so one day I’m at the public pool, enjoying life, when suddenly I find myself on the diving board (for a more accurate mental picture, I’m wearing a Power Ranger life jacket, but that’s not as important). I’m trying to figure out what sick move I’m going to do, and I’ve got it narrowed down to a front flip and a cannon ball. Now if I do the front flip, there’s a ninety percent chance I’m going to hit the water with my back and that normally stings, but my cannon ball wasn’t the tsunami inducing force it is today. And then it hit me. Luke. Skywalker.

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